Oh, confession, conshmession. If G-d really does exist, He doesn't really care whether or not you go and sit in a little box and tell a man everything you've ever done wrong in your life.

But that might be enough of a laugh to get me through that date. Lemme guess-- you've got quite a list stacked up there?

Of course, I also don't believe in Hell, so apparently I'm going to be burning for that alone. Besides, you know, the fact that I killed Jesus.

I'd do it again, though. Nothing like a little messiah-murder to start the morning.