[Public]

[comedownthisroad]

It doesn't matter how badass I am, how many people I save, how much I know I'm doing the right thing.


Deep down, I still feel like a failure.

Comments

[xandtheman3.livejournal.com]

Tay,

you're not a failure.

I know that doesn't help with the feelings. I'm just saying. The minute you save someone's life, you succeed.

[comedownthisroad]

Depends on what your definition of success is.

[xandtheman3.livejournal.com]

I think the second that you save someone's life, you're kinda on the track to awesomeness.

But I get how that's not always enough.

[locked]

[comedownthisroad]

It's just.

Saving people is what I do, fine, whatever. I mean, it used to be hunting demons, but... whatever

The thing is that... every time I think about my dad, or Romana, I just... think about how no matter what I do, they will never be proud of me.

You fucking breathe a word of this to anyone and I will kill you, but... I had to say it, and Aaron's not here, and I don't have anyone else. Phoebe's nice and all, but I just met her.

[locked]

[xandtheman3.livejournal.com]

It's not whatever, Tay. I don't care what those other people think. Saving people? It's amazing. It's pretty much the best damn thing anyone can do.

I'm proud of you.

I know it doesn't mean a whole lot, but I am.

I think it's more important that you're always proud of yourself. I mean my dad was always going to think I was worthless. Like a lot of other people have thought in different ways even my own friends, and it's

What matters is what you think, what you know.

Hey, we're friends, remember? I care about you. I trust you. It stays between us. You can talk to me whenever and hang out whenever. Seriously.

[locked]

[comedownthisroad]

it's hard, 'cause i grew up being told that making the family proud was the most important thing.

it... means more than you think, though. to know that.

i just. you know that i'm really bad at emotions and shit. thanks for not getting sick of me.

[locked]

[xandtheman3.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that would be hard. You just gotta keep reminding yourself of the opposite or remember that your real family won't make such impossible demands. They'd be proud of you doing something very awesome like... saving lives.

That kind of makes you a hero here.


Hey, that's good. Cause it's the truth and it's nice when the truth is actually with the helping for a change.

I know. I'm not the best either. It's why we get along so well. ;) I never could, Tay.

Should I call you Tayter? I nickname people. It's my thing, but your name is hard. I could call you T, but then I'll feel like I'm talking to Mr. T.

[locked]

[comedownthisroad]

phoebe and mio are great and all, but you're pretty much all the family i've got now. it's kind of cool you think i'm a hero, though.

...that makes me sound like a potato. if it'll keep you from calling me tayter, why don't you try making something from louise instead?

[locked]

[xandtheman3.livejournal.com]

Hey, you'll get to know them better and they'll feel like family to. I do. You are. You save people like that's heroic.

Yeah, then I'd be hungry every time I mentioned your name. I don't think you'd like being called Lou either. I'll think of something. Hit you with it when you least expect.