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[comedownthisroad]

It doesn't matter how badass I am, how many people I save, how much I know I'm doing the right thing.


Deep down, I still feel like a failure.

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[locked]

[comedownthisroad]

it's pretty fucked up, looking back. but the point is, being a Barnam, you're raised with the expectation that you'll fulfill certain duties and roles. that you'll be loyal to the family. that you'll make the family proud.

it's only been a couple years since i grew up and realized they're fucking nuts. hard to train myself out of the feeling that i should still be making the family proud.

so yeah i'm probably being to hard on myself, but i can't really help it at this point.

[locked]

[thehighestwing.livejournal.com]

i think that's only to be expected. when something is drilled into your head for years it's not like it's going to just go away overnight.

it wasn't fair of them to dump all those expectations on you, though.

and we're all hard on ourselves up to a certain point. i don't know why we sometimes demand more of ourselves than we would others, but that's why we're here to remind each other we've done good, right? and our best.

which is all we can do.