[ there is a long, LONG wait before this reply comes ]
I don't... I'm not good at making friends. I don't really know how to talk to people, and I suck at being honest about emotional shit. I mean. I'm better than I was. Buffy understood and we were cool, but I don't
I suck at this.
I just.
I don't really know anyone here, except Xander. And he's got his own stuff he does.
I'm actually not very good at it, either! I can talk to strangers and have plenty acquaintances but friends, real friends? Are something that I can count with only one hand.
And then I went away for so long that when I came back a lot of people were gone.
You should've met my ward, now he was a challenge.
Doesn't help my ward's back in... well, I guess he's not my ward anymore. I get this... tug. Restless, even if I go monster hunting. I never really had a chance to feel that before, I met El a couple weeks after my wings came in.
Anyway, it just... I don't know what to do anymore.
It's not the same thing, but I lost my ward, too. The link was just gone when I came back, and it's kind of like, I don't know. Walking around missing a limb.
I miss it, too.
And I miss him, too. Jack.
We can go patrolling together? I was trained by Torchwood for it. Then we can do something fun, if you're up for it.
the concussion happened when thane... woke up or whatever. killing my cousin was romana's fault, she sent her kids to attack torchwood and torchwood defended themselves.
i still
it wasn't really his fault. georgia knew what she was getting into.
haha, just 'cause you CAN doesn't mean you WILL. :P betcha will though.
i heard about that. i mean, he told me about most of it once i became his guardian. he wasn't really happy about it, and i don't think i really helped any, but.
i'm still sorry for your cousin.
'course i will! guns are a girl's best friend, not diamonds!
you're welcome. thank you for giving me a chance. :)
Woah, Tay. Hey, learning things every day or all the new things tonight! This is so not something you would write by yourself. Are you okay? Is someone forcing you to write this at gun point?
I mean I really don't get why you wouldn't talk about this sooner. Why haven't you sung professionally? Held concerts at the Tower? These are the burning questions.
I'd wait outside your shower to hear this for myself, but that would be creepy. I am many things, but creepy is not one of them.
I'm not religious or whatever, but my foster mom goes to St. John Cantius Parish on Sundays. They do Gregorian chant or whatever it's called and have a shit ton of choirs and stuff.
I don't know if you have to be a member of the church or whatever, but they perform a lot--Midnight Mass runs for like five hundred hours because all of these groups are performing. If you're interested.
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Date: 2011-08-20 04:43 am (UTC)But whatever's soothing for you. :)
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Date: 2011-08-20 04:47 am (UTC)But almost all the songs we learned were in Latin. I grew up Catholic.
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Date: 2011-08-20 06:00 am (UTC)Honestly, though? That's actually kind of cool.
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Date: 2011-08-20 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 07:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 07:47 am (UTC)I mean, what the fuck else do I have here?
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Date: 2011-08-20 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 08:22 am (UTC)He talked about you a bit when I first got here.
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Date: 2011-08-21 03:18 am (UTC)Aw. If they're good things, they're true! And if they're bad... well, they're probably also true. ;)
He's something else, isn't he?
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Date: 2011-08-21 03:26 am (UTC)yeah. he... he is.
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Date: 2011-08-21 06:03 am (UTC)And any friend of Xander's is a friend of mine. Not saying you want to be my friend or anything, just know the offer's there.
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Date: 2011-08-21 06:16 am (UTC)I don't... I'm not good at making friends. I don't really know how to talk to people, and I suck at being honest about emotional shit. I mean. I'm better than I was. Buffy understood and we were cool, but I don't
I suck at this.
I just.
I don't really know anyone here, except Xander. And he's got his own stuff he does.
Fuck.
Never mind.
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Date: 2011-08-21 06:23 am (UTC)I'm actually not very good at it, either! I can talk to strangers and have plenty acquaintances but friends, real friends? Are something that I can count with only one hand.
And then I went away for so long that when I came back a lot of people were gone.
You should've met my ward, now he was a challenge.
For what it's worth, I don't mind.
If you suck at it.
Or think you suck at it.
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Date: 2011-08-21 06:32 am (UTC)Anyway, it just... I don't know what to do anymore.
I miss having friends.
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Date: 2011-08-21 06:50 am (UTC)I miss it, too.
And I miss him, too. Jack.
We can go patrolling together? I was trained by Torchwood for it. Then we can do something fun, if you're up for it.
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Date: 2011-08-21 07:14 am (UTC)He was a decent guy, though, most of the time. Romana didn't like him much. looking back, that speaks well of him.
don't suppose you could get me a gun, couldya? I have a knife I got off some mugger and a pipe i've been using like a club. it's bullshit.
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Date: 2011-08-21 07:27 am (UTC)He was. He didn't believe himself to be, but he was.
I'm Torchwood.
Course I can get you a gun!
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Date: 2011-08-21 07:33 am (UTC)i still
it wasn't really his fault. georgia knew what she was getting into.
haha, just 'cause you CAN doesn't mean you WILL. :P betcha will though.
thanks. for... iunno. fuck. maybe being a friend.
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Date: 2011-08-21 07:43 am (UTC)i'm still sorry for your cousin.
'course i will! guns are a girl's best friend, not diamonds!
you're welcome. thank you for giving me a chance. :)
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-21 08:02 am (UTC)you free tonight?
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Date: 2011-08-21 09:45 pm (UTC)let's do this thang.
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Date: 2011-08-20 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 04:48 am (UTC)....thank you
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Date: 2011-08-20 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 04:59 am (UTC)No. But I didn't mean to write it and then I tried to rip the page out or scribble over it and it is not working.
FUCKING CHICAGO.
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Date: 2011-08-20 05:01 am (UTC)I'd wait outside your shower to hear this for myself, but that would be creepy. I am many things, but creepy is not one of them.
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Date: 2011-08-20 05:06 am (UTC)or I did until I ended up here. Fucking Chicago.Yeah, I don't think you could pull off creepy if you tried. It'd just be like a... really pitiful attempt at creepy.
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Date: 2011-08-20 05:38 am (UTC)That almost sounds like a challenge. One I won't accept. I don't think it'd work out well for me.
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Date: 2011-08-20 05:47 am (UTC)Look, I'm not doing a concert for money. Or EVER.
And yeah, it'd get your ass kicked.
If you want to hear me sing, maybe I will. 'Cause you're my friend.no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 06:27 am (UTC)Yeah, I like my ass not being kicked.
Oh, what was that small scratched out text down there?[locked]
Date: 2011-08-20 06:40 am (UTC)But you can hear me sing if you want.
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Date: 2011-08-20 07:14 am (UTC)I do want. It'd be cool.
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Date: 2011-08-20 07:23 am (UTC)I... all I really know is boring latin stuff from church, y'know. I mean, I guess I sorta know some other stuff, but i don't listen to music much.
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Date: 2011-08-21 06:57 am (UTC)I am very cool with boring latin stuff from church. Whatever you know. I just want to hear you sing.
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Date: 2011-08-21 07:18 am (UTC)[locked]
Date: 2011-08-22 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-22 11:09 am (UTC)I don't know if you have to be a member of the church or whatever, but they perform a lot--Midnight Mass runs for like five hundred hours because all of these groups are performing. If you're interested.